Transcript from BBC’s “World Service” Last Friday

British Man: Welcome to the BBC World Service. We start today with our continuing coverage of how everything is bullshit. Our correspondent is in the field now. What can you tell us?

Scottish Woman: Well, the mood here is grim. As we’ve reported, the world is basically falling apart. Local residents have confirmed this, but we’re still waiting for an official statement from regional leaders on the sad nature of this god-awful mess we call civilization.

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